Abuja's HOTTEST 2-Bedroom Serviced Apartment: The R Residence Awaits!
Abuja's HOTTEST 2-Bedroom Serviced Apartment: The R Residence Awaits!
Abuja's HOTTEST 2-Bedroom Serviced Apartment: The R Residence Awaits! - A Messy, Honest, and Absolutely Human Review
Alright, folks, buckle up! Because I’m about to take you on a ride. We’re talking about The R Residence in Abuja, the self-proclaimed hottest 2-bedroom serviced apartment in town. And you know what? After experiencing it firsthand, I'm leaning towards agreeing, with a few "buts" thrown in for good measure. This isn't your typical perfectly polished hotel review. This is the raw, unadulterated truth, warts and all, because life (and travel) is messy, right?
First Impressions & the "Accessibility" Angle (Let’s Get Real, Right?)
Okay, so first things first: getting there. Abuja, bless its heart, can be a bit of a maze. The R Residence, thankfully, is relatively easy to find, and the airport transfer service they offer is a godsend. Seriously, after a long flight, that personalized pickup is worth its weight in gold. Now, about accessibility. They claim to have facilities for disabled guests. That's cool. I didn't personally test that, and honestly, the website felt a bit vague on specifics. So, if you specifically need super-detailed accessibility info, I’d ring them up and ask pointed questions. Don't take my word for it!
Checking In & Getting Settled: The Room and Beyond
The check-in/out [express] option? Loved it. Fast, efficient, and no standing around in a queue after a long journey. The rooms? Stunning. Like, genuinely, “wow” stunning. Let's go room by room (I might have stayed in one of them for quite a while…)
- Available in All Rooms:
- Additional Toilet: Oh, thank God. Saves fights!
- Air Conditioning: Essential. Abuja heat is no joke.
- Alarm Clock: Needed something to get me up.
- Bathrobes: Always a luxurious touch.
- Bathroom Phone: For… emergencies? or… I’ve never used one of those.
- Bathtub: Check.
- Blackout Curtains: Perfect for catching up on sleep.
- Carpeting: Feels plush underfoot.
- Closet: Spacious enough to hide my shopping haul.
- Coffee/Tea Maker & Complimentary Tea: Necessary.
- Daily Housekeeping: The staff are incredibly efficient and friendly.
- Desk & Extra Long Bed: Comfort city.
- Free Bottled Water: Hydration is key!
- Hair Dryer: A must-have for every traveler.
- High Floor: I love a good view.
- In-room Safe Box: Peace of mind for your valuables.
- Internet access – LAN & Internet access – wireless: Fast and reliable (more on that later).
- Ironing Facilities: Perfect to keep my clothes looking presentable.
- Laptop Workspace: Necessary to get my work done.
- Linens: Wonderful.
- Mini Bar: Convenient, but pricey.
- Mirror: Obvious.
- Non-smoking: A big plus for those sensitive to smoke.
- On-demand Movies: Excellent for a cozy night in.
- Private Bathroom: No sharing!
- Reading Light: Perfect for late-night reading.
- Refrigerator: Keep my drinks cool.
- Satellite/Cable Channels: For entertainment.
- Scale: No.
- Seating Area: Perfect for relaxing.
- Separate Shower/Bathtub: A nice touch.
- Shower: Check.
- Slippers: Comfortable, clean.
- Smoke Detector: Safety first.
- Socket near the bed: Good for charging.
- Sofa: Great for lounging.
- Soundproofing: Important.
- Telephone: Still exists.
- Toiletries: Good quality.
- Towels: Fluffy!
- Umbrella: Abuja weather can be unpredictable.
- Visual Alarm: Important.
- Wake-up Service: Never used it.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Fantastic!
- Window that opens: You know, let some fresh air in if you like.
The "Internet" Saga
Right, let's talk about the internet. They boast free Wi-Fi in all rooms! And they're not lying. Generally. Okay, here’s the deal: The Internet access – LAN connections in the rooms are good, fast, and reliable. The Wi-Fi in the room generally worked well, but I encountered a few hiccups, especially during peak hours. It's not terrible, but it's not consistently lightning-fast. Consider using the LAN if you have important stuff to do. The Wi-Fi in public areas was also decent. So, overall? Passable, but not perfect.
Food Glorious Food (and Drinks!)
Okay, this is where The R Residence really shines. The restaurants are seriously impressive. They offer A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, and a Vegetarian restaurant. I was practically salivating at the Breakfast [buffet]! It was HUGE and had everything you could possibly want. The chef makes the best coffee/tea in restaurant! They even offered a Breakfast takeaway service which was a lifesaver on the morning of a meeting.
- Asian breakfast: Tasty!
- Bar: Excellent cocktails and a great atmosphere.
- Bottle of water: Always provided.
- Breakfast service: Fast and reliable.
- Buffet in restaurant: Fantastic variety.
- Coffee shop: Excellent coffee and pastries.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yum!
- Happy hour: Need I say more?
- International cuisine in restaurant: Always something to please everyone.
- Poolside bar: Pretty cool.
- Room service [24-hour]: So convenient!
- Salad in restaurant Good-looking and tasty.
- Snack bar: For a quick bite.
- Soup in restaurant: Perfect on a chilly evening.
The poolside bar is a winner, especially with happy hour. The food? Top-notch. The restaurants are incredible. I had a particularly memorable plate of… (I’m not even going to lie, I can’t remember what I ordered, but the food was fantastic). Okay, maybe I had a few cocktails at the bar. The poolside bar is the place to be!
Ways to Relax: More Than Just a Pool (But That Pool is Pretty Great)
So, let's talk relaxation. The swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous. The pool with a view is a real winner. (Did I mention the pool?) I spent a long time there. Lounging around, working on my tan, and avoiding all my responsibilities. They also boast a Spa, a Sauna, a Steamroom, and a Gym/fitness. I'm not a particularly "spa" person or a "gym" person, but they were there, and they looked well-equipped.
They had a Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath and Massage. I had the massage! It was amazing. I'm not a massage person! It was seriously one of the best massages I've ever had. I was walking on air after. The spa/sauna looked pretty luxe, too.
Cleanliness & Safety: The Important Stuff
Okay, real talk: cleanliness and safety are paramount. The R Residence scores well here. They have Anti-viral cleaning products Daily disinfection in common areas, and their staff are trained in safety protocol. They offer Room sanitization opt-out available, which I appreciated. They have the usual Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms, and security features like CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, and Security [24-hour]. I definitely felt safe and secure. They use sanitized kitchen and tableware items and have Hand sanitizer readily available. Another bonus is their Cashless payment service. Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Feast for the Senses
The dining scene is fantastic. The restaurants have a good reputation, with options ranging from A la carte in restaurant to Buffet in restaurant. I was particularly impressed with the Happy hour at the bar! They have a Poolside bar, a Snack bar, a Coffee shop, and Room service [24-hour]. You really are spoiled for choice.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Okay
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we are about to dive headfirst into a chaotic adventure… in a serviced apartment in Abuja. Yep. That's the dream. The R Residence, 2-bedroom unit. Sounds bougie, doesn't it? Prepare for the reality. Trust me.
The Abuja Odyssey: A Messy, Opinionated, and Probably Slightly Disastrous Itinerary
(Day 1: Arrival & Pretend "Sophistication")
- 6:00 AM (ish): Wake up in Lagos. Curse the early flight. Curse the traffic. Curse the fact that I packed more "hope" than actual clothes. Seriously, why does optimism always weigh so much in the suitcase?
- 9:00 AM: Fly into Abuja. The airport is… well, it looks like an airport. That’s about as good as it gets in the honesty of it, though. Immigration? Let's just say I've had faster supermarket checkouts. A guy practically snarled at my passport. Lovely start.
- 10:30 AM: Find a pre-arranged (read: ridiculously expensive) airport transfer. Immediately regret not haggling. The driver, bless him, is blasting gospel music. I'm not religious, but at this point, I'll take all the help I can get.
- 11:30 AM: Arrive at The R Residence. It is nice. Marble floors! A balcony! But… the key card reader hates me. Spend a solid five minutes looking like a confused monkey trying to operate a toaster. Finally get in. Sigh of relief. Then another sigh because the air conditioning sounds like a dying walrus.
- 12:00 PM: Unpack. Try to pretend I'm a "travel influencer." Fail miserably. Take a picture of the pristine living room. Immediately spill coffee on the faux-leather sofa. The "sophistication" is already fading.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at the apartment. I brought instant noodles. Don't judge. Actually, judge. It's pathetic. But the only delivery service I know of requires a minimum order of a family feast. I might get hungry later…
- 2:00 PM: Attempt to venture out. Remember I don't know the city. Google maps struggles with the lack of street names. Get lost in a residential area. Almost get eaten by a particularly aggressive goat. Decide to stay inside for a while. Maybe forever.
- 3:00 PM: Nap. The walrus-AC lulls me into a false sense of security. Dream of air conditioning units that don't sound like they're plotting my demise.
- 6:00 PM: Try to order food. The online menus are baffling. So many options! So little trust. Finally, settle on some grilled chicken from a place with a suspiciously generic name.
- 7:00 PM: Chicken arrives. It is… fine. Edible. The important part for me is that the delivery guy is actually quite charming. He makes me laugh and reminds me that not everything has to be perfect. Life lessons from takeaway chicken, who knew?
- 8:00 PM: Watch Nigerian TV. Discover a soap opera that's even more dramatic than real life. Become instantly addicted.
- 9:00 PM: Collapse into bed. Despite the AC, it's hot. But hey, at least I didn't get eaten by a goat today. Small victories, right?
(Day 2: The "Culture" Experience & Shopping Shenanigans)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up, surprisingly fresh. The soap opera cliffhanger did its job.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. The noodles are still there, but I bravely opt for instant oatmeal. Life is about taking chances, right?
- 10:00 AM: Attempt to visit the National Mosque. Dress modestly. Realise I don't know what modestly is. Pray I don't offend anyone with my cluelessness. It is beautiful. Truly. But I feel like a clumsy tourist, which, well, I am.
- 11:30 AM: The National Christian Centre. Feeling slightly less out of my depth. Still overwhelmed, but also, the architecture is astounding. Feel a flicker of something that might become joy. Still, a solid dose of culture. Check!
- 1:00 PM: Go from culture to commerce. Head to a local market. Get completely overwhelmed. The colours! The smells! The noise! Negotiating prices feels like a contact sport. I probably paid too much for that "authentic" batik scarf. But the seller made me laugh, so, win? I guess.
- 2:30 PM: Lunch at the market: Suya. Spicy, delicious, and probably not very hygienic. Don't ask questions. Just eat.
- 3:30 PM: Get lost in the labyrinthine streets of the market. Almost fall over a pile of watermelons. Panic buying begins. Suddenly I have more stuff in my hands than I know what to do with
- 5:00 PM: Return to the R Residence, exhausted but somehow exhilarated.
- 6:00 PM: Take a long, cold shower. The warm water is still a distant dream.
- 7:00 PM: Unpack my purchases. Realise I have acquired three carved wooden figurines and enough brightly coloured fabric to clothe a small African village. Where am I going to put all of this?
- 8:00 PM: Attempt to cook something (anything!) in the apartment kitchen. Burn the toast. Give up.
- 9:00 PM: Order more takeaway. Comfort eats are my best friend.
- 10:00 PM: Watch more TV, this time feeling a little more at home. The AC still sounds like a walrus. But I’m starting to kind of like the racket.
(Day 3: A Leap of Faith (and a Few Regrets))
- 9:00 AM: Wake up to a power outage! The AC is now completely useless.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast: The last packet of instant oatmeal. Desperate times.
- 10:00 AM: Decide, on a whim, to go horseback riding! What could possibly go wrong?
- 11:00 AM: Arrive at the stables. The horses are… big. I am not. Get on. Barely.
- 11:15 AM: Start moving. Slowly. Very slowly. Feel ridiculously out of my depth. My guide, a young man named Abdul, is friendly, but I suspect he is enjoying my terror a little bit too much.
- 11:30 AM: Horse begins to trot. I begin to panic. I cling on with all my might. I scream internally. Abdul laughs.
- 12:00 PM: It's over! I survived. Barely. I dismount, legs shaking violently. I may or may not have soiled myself a little bit. Do not ask Abdul about what happened. DO NOT ASK.
- 1:00 PM: Reward myself with a massive plate of jollof rice. Life is, once again, worth living.
- 2:00 PM: Return to the R Residence. Collapse. The apartment is now stifling. The power is still out.
- 3:00 PM: Wonder if I should just stay in bed and cry. Decide against it.
- 4:00 PM: Discover a small local shop selling bottles of water, that is a godsend
- 5:00 PM: The power FINALLY comes back on! Praise the heavens.
- 6:00 PM: The walrus-AC roars back to life. I now see it as my loyal companion, with its own quirks and habits.
- 7:00 PM: Face time my friends. They ask me how my trip is going. I laugh. "It's… an experience," I say.
- 8:00 PM: Eat my leftovers. They taste better than yesterday.
- 9:00 PM: Watch the sunset from the balcony. It is beautiful. Despite everything, it is truly, utterly beautiful.
- 10:00 PM: Pack my bags. Because tomorrow is the flight home. Part of me can't wait to leave. The other part? Already dreaming of coming back.
Final Thoughts:
Would I recommend this trip? Maybe. Abuja is… a lot. Sometimes frustrating. Sometimes baffling. Sometimes utterly wonderful. The R Residence? Perfectly adequate, with a touch of "luxury-lite." But you know what? I laughed. I (almost) cried. I got lost. I made a few friends. And I survived. So, yeah. Maybe I'd do it again. As soon as I've recovered from the sheer chaos.
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The R Residence: FAQs (Because, Honestly, You're Probably Wondering...)
Is this place *really* as amazing as the pictures? (Because, let's be real, Instagram lies).
Okay, fine, I’ll be honest. I went in expecting a bit of a…well, a *photoshop*. You know, the usual. Gleaming minimalist perfection that falls apart the second you breathe on it. But The R Residence? They *almost* undersold it. The pictures are good, don't get me wrong – sleek, modern, all that jazz. But walking in? Whoa. It's the *feeling* that gets you. It's…warm. It's not just a sterile box. It somehow feels like you’re instantly welcomed. The lighting is actually decent! (A personal victory, let me tell you. I've lived in apartments where the only light source seemed to be a dying firefly). The couch? I could legitimately nap on that thing for hours. And the view from the balcony? Forget about it. You can see the city sprawling out...or at least, you *could* see it, before I realized I needed a drink and promptly lost all sense of perspective. So, yeah. It's good. Really, really good. And, in my extremely humble opinion, better than the pictures. (Shhh, don't tell them I said that. Marketing departments are sensitive.)
What about the security? Is Abuja even…you know…safe?
Alright, let’s get this out of the way upfront. Abuja… well, it’s Abuja. Security is always on the radar. But The R Residence? They take it seriously. Like, *really* seriously. I lost count of the security guards (genuine, not just bored-looking guys half-asleep in chairs). And the gates? Fort Knox has nothing on their gates. I felt safer there than I do in my own living room, mostly because I can’t accidentally trip over a rogue remote control and break my ankle in my own living room. (Okay, maybe that’s just me.) They have CCTV cameras everywhere, too. Now, I’m not a massive fan of being watched (who is?), but in this case, it’s reassuring. Plus, it seems like they know *everyone*. I had a problem with the TV remote (don't ask), and within minutes, someone was there to fix it. Like, *magic*. Bottom line: I felt secure enough to wander out for a late-night suya run (recommendation coming later, trust me.) Which, for me, is a huge win.
Let's talk amenities. What do you actually *get* for the price tag? (Because budget is a real thing.)
Okay, so the price. Yeah, it’s not the cheapest place in Abuja. But hear me out. Think of it this way: you’re not just paying for a room; you’re paying for a *lifestyle*. (Sorry, I'm starting to sound like a brochure now.) Seriously though. Let's start with the obvious stuff: the pool. It's gorgeous. Like, Instagram-worthy gorgeous. I spent a solid hour just floating around, pretending to be a glamorous movie star. The gym? Actually equipped! Not just a treadmill and some dusty dumbbells like you find in some places. They’ve got everything, from the latest equipment to free weights, which is a huge plus because let's be real, those dusty dumbbells never worked. I need a good workout after spending all day at my computer, so having a gym on site is a life saver! (And yes, I did see a few very attractive people while I was there. Just saying…)
But it's the smaller things that won me over. Like the fast, reliable Wi-Fi (a MUST if you work remotely, trust me). The fully-equipped kitchen. Seriously, I made actual meals! Not just cereal (although, okay, I *did* have cereal. I'm not a miracle worker). And the housekeeping? Spotless. Absolutely spotless. I’m a bit of a neat freak, so this was a major selling point. Every time I returned to my room, it smelled fresh and clean. They've got the laundry service, too. I took full advantage of that, seeing as I hate doing laundry. So, yes, it's worth it. Maybe not for everyone, but if you value your sanity and are looking for a luxurious, hassle-free experience, it's a solid investment.
Ok, I have to add one more thing! I can't forget the restaurant downstairs: The food is delicious, but the *service* is phenomenal. I had a slight mishap where I ordered the wrong thing (blame jet lag). I politely mentioned it, and they immediately fixed the issue with a smile. That level of service is rare these days.
Is it noisy? Because I need my beauty sleep (and also, my sanity).
Right, noise. Living in a quiet place is like gold in Abuja, honestly. This place? Surprisingly quiet. I’m a light sleeper, and I didn’t hear a peep. Now, I can’t guarantee that your neighbour won’t decide to have a drum circle at 3 AM (you never know!), but the building itself is well-insulated. And the air conditioning… oh, the air conditioning! Perfectly regulated, cool and refreshing, without being a roaring, headache-inducing monster, and also, you don't hear much from the street outside. It also helps that it's a little outside the immediate hustle and bustle, but easy to get into the main parts of town. So, yes. Quiet. Which is, in my book, a HUGE win. Especially after a long day of navigating Abuja's traffic. Which brings me to my next point...
What's the *worst* thing about The R Residence? Be honest!
Okay, here’s the truth. I really struggled to find anything truly bad. I racked my brain. I overthought it. I even considered making something up just to be “honest” (because, you know, internet credibility). But honestly, the only real "negative" I could come up with is that it's so comfortable, you might never want to leave. Seriously. I felt so relaxed I almost missed my flight. Almost. (Don't tell my boss). Also, it's slightly far from the airport which, depending on traffic, can be a bit of a trek. BUT, I feel I absolutely have to be completely honest, and there's no point in trying to find a "bad thing" to make it look real, if the truth is it was a fantastic experience. My only regret is that I didn't book it for longer!
Okay, spill the tea! The hidden gems? Where do I *actually* go in Abuja while staying there?
Alright, here comes the good stuff. Since you're staying at The R Residence, let me give you a few insider tips:
- Food, glorious food: First, that suya I mentioned? You have to go to that small stall on the way to... (well, you'll figure it out, it's a local secret, but ask a taxi driver, they'll know!). Seriously,Hotel Hop NowThe R Residence 2 bedroom serviced apartment Abuja Nigeria
The R Residence 2 bedroom serviced apartment Abuja Nigeria
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